I wanted to tell him.
I wanted to share all of it with him.
But not only was I bound by the sign of silence and the admonishments of the sphinx, he was my best friend.
Can you imagine keeping such an important part of your life from a friend, part that has transformed you and impacted you in so many ways, that could also do that for a friend.
There would be times when we would be hanging out and I would feel like I was lying to him by omission.
What if I told him about the temple, about this thing of ours called magic?
I’ve made many friends through the temple, friends I liked and even a few who I disliked. Some of those friendships stayed in the temple, others filled space outside of the temple, but all of them were clean.
Clean in that those friendships did not impact the temple, or the spiritual agency of its members, friends, and myself.
The autonomy to choose was preserved intact.
A persons integrity to make spiritual decisions must remain intact.
Some I thought we would be friends forever, at times literally storming the gates of Heaven to steal fire from the Gods, only to have them leave and never return. Sometimes things didn’t work out for them, other times it did work out, and it was time for them to move to a new-correct path.
Something beyond the temple.
Now imagine I invited a friend to the temple, in that they did not arrive there of their own accord, seeking admission on their own terms.
Imagine if the destiny of that person was to take them away from the temple, in a different direction, what would happen if they stayed due to the pull of friendship?
What if I was the one to leave?
What about our standings in the temple?
Would they expect me to intervene?
Would I out of friendship?
This layer of initiation in the temple extends deeper, as friendships and anti-friendships are established in the temple. It is one of the reasons why when I am asked about something, an experience, a collaboration I am usually silent.
Silent as in not because it is secret or used to elevate, but silent out of love and compassion.
You ask me about a particular experience that you had in the temple, perhaps one of the ceremonies, and I tell you about it two things can potentially happen depending on our relationship.
If you think positively or highly of me, you give my experience and words weight, what if they are different compared to your experience?
What if my words and experiences are correct in the tradition, but you think little of me and my capacity, and dismiss them.
Regarding such friends and anti-friends it is better to be silent on such things and answer the questions by stepping outside of time and standing before the Gods together.
Yet I am still human and so very much want to invite my friends.